Last Wednesday,our group had a discussion on what you would do when seeing your friend enter a lap dancing club. After discussing, Baoyu asked us a question, if you were the wife, would you want your husband's friends to tell you what they saw? And my answer is no.
I have thought about this question these days. We,human beings,should really chase all the truths? What if someone told me that my husband entered a lap dancing club? Would I just easily have a quarrel with him and that's the end? Obviously,no.First, I would feel embarrassed and I am quite sure that all the people facing this kind of situation will feel uncomfortable when others tell you this thing directly. And second, why I want others to tell me? Because I want to find the truth? Then, the worst result will be a divorce and all of us will be in deep depressed .And if we had children, they will be affected too.Just a truth will make at least 3 people's life change from then on. Who wants to get that finality? As a result, I think sometimes, when we want to get the truth, we should know the significance of doing it.
When you suspect that your friends betrayed you, but you do not have any evidence,I think I will just let it pass, I do not want to think it for a long time to find the solutions or find the evidence to talk to my friends and then say goodbye to them. Everyone has his own treasure. Sometimes, looking for the truth will make us lose our treasure. Do you still feel that it is worth doing that? I love my friends, so I will trust them. I will never want to find things which will show that they forsake me. There is a maxim saying "Where ignorance is bliss, ti's folly to be wise". If I get the result,I will also be in great sorrow. Yes, sometimes, on the way to the truth, you will not only harm yourself, but also other people you love for you ask them and they will feel you don't trust them. As a result, I do not want to know any truth in the emotional field which will hurt me. You know, the more you love the person, when you know he hurt you, you will be more sad.
However, I don't mean that we should not find the truth in every field. We still should keep a rational mind in some domain like science and many other things which don't need our emotion. We should ask for the truth without doubt. But when referring to the emotion, my personal view is that we'd better say no to the truth which may hurt us.
The things you do is just to escape from the truth. Well, you may not to find out all the truths but you can never pretend that they don't exist. The things I suggest you to do is to find the truth and accept it, then face the problem directly. Anyway, you can keep the friendship even you know he has betrayed you but you can be more careful now. Isn't it better?
ReplyDeleteyes, maybe you are right. But to different people,the hurt may be different. In my mind, even when I get the answer, I will also be very sad, so why not choose a way that can protect ourselves? But in a way I agree with you, sometimes we should be brave.Thank you.
DeleteSometimes it's wise to be foolish.But I hope you will never need to do that~
ReplyDeleteha, thank you dear. I know even I need to do that, even when I am so sad, you will always be there, I am so glad to know you. Hope we can keep the friendship forever~ Fighting~
DeleteHahaha. love you~
Deletewhat a generous person you are, but i think if you always do not want to know the truth, you will also lose a lot of things.what if your friends do sth really wrong and you can help him if you seek out the truth, but you do not? So, i think you should also have the principle that there are sth you must know
ReplyDeleteyes, you are right. Just as all you said, sometimes we should know the truth. But sometimes i am also lack of courage to know the truth. For the truth sometimes can be cruel.But next time i will do my best to try.
Deleteyes, I do agree with you. Sometimes knowing too much may not make you happy. Maybe a simple life is more likely to bring us pleasure. I do not think it is a way of escaping. Of course, I do hope you can choose your MR.right. So never will such thing happen!!
ReplyDeletehehe~Thank you for your support~ Maybe boys and girls really have different kinds of feelings. Hope you will also find your Mr.Rright~~And I am quite sure that you will be happy in your love.
Deletei think you are really silly to think like this. i can guarantee that as a man, next time he will again go to a lab dancing club and then follows the third time, the fourth time. you are just indulging your husband. and things will get even worse, if your husband's friend tell your husband that he had told you the fact, then what will your husband think. he will think that you don't love him, because if you really love him, you will mention the fact and quarrel with him. however, what you do is just to forgive him silently. and at last the love you are trying your best to protect will still end with the divorce.
ReplyDeleteyou should be more rational, i think, and just calmly have a talk with your husband. it may help.
wo, thank you for your advice. detector. yes, all of you are right. i am not a rational person at all. but i will encourage myself to be a person like that. thank you
ReplyDeleteFirst, I admire Zhu Lei that he can tells you his thought directly. O(∩_∩)O In my opinion it is a complex philosophical question, because in differents cases we cannot use the same way to deal with. And the most importtant thing I think is we should respect others and ourselves. You should be respondsible for what you do, because the people you love, your partents and your friends will all be efected by your action.
ReplyDeleteyes, sometimes it is difficult for us to tackle this problem, for i think when everyone faces this situation, they will all be frustrated and don't know what to do. and i agree with you that we all have to be responsible for what we did. we are not alone in our life, when others give us happy, we should be careful for what we are doing, we should consider the thing we do will harm others or not.
ReplyDelete